


Picking Up My Shatter World

by blackrose_17



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cheating, Dean Being an Asshole, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Emotionally Hurt Sam, F/M, Jealous Dean Winchester, Kid Fic, M/M, Minor Character Death, Non Hunters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-24 00:38:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6135485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose_17/pseuds/blackrose_17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At one time Sam and Dean used to be close then one day it all changed and Dean couldn’t stand to be around his nerdy little brother. Sam was sure that Dean realised his more than brotherly love that he carried for Dean and that’s why he hated the very sight of Sam and he vowed to move on from Dean. Enter Jessica Moore who Sam was sure could be the one to help him get over Dean.</p><p>Two years later Sam is unhappily married to Jess and the only joy he has in his life is his son Jaden, until his world comes crashing down around him as he learns the truth that his wife has been having an affair with Dean and the little boy he adores might not be his son. After a confrontation that ends with Sam sole parent of his son, he vows to never let anyone hurt him that deeply again.<br/>Can Dean make amends for all the hurt he caused Sam in his strange attempt to protect Sam from the feelings that Dean was sure Sam could never feel for him. Can the brothers overcome years of pain and hurt to see the love they was sure would forever be unrequited was returned all along?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Sam Winchester Big Bang art by umi-malfoy which you can see here:[LJ](http://umi-malfoy.livejournal.com/10428.html)  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural I do own all original characters  
> I owe a huge beta thank you to chestercbennington over on tumblr for editing this for me.

Everyone knows the story of Sam and Dean Winchester - how they lost their mother and grew up as hunters, had a bond that no one could break, not even the devil himself. Everyone knows the story of the brothers, hunters, soulmates, and each other’s whole worlds where there was nothing and no one they would put in front of one another, how they would die for one another and sell their soul for the other's life. But what if Mary had never died? What if there was no demon to hunt? Would Sam and Dean still have their bond or would their lives be very different?

                                                                                                              *+++*

When Dean Winchester was four years old, his world changed drastically at the birth of his little brother Sam. Little Sammy became Dean's whole world. Dean was barely able to let his little brother out of his sight. Getting Dean to go to school was a nightmare; he had thrown a massive tantrum after being told that he wouldn't be allowed to bring Sam along with him.

Mary would never forget the pout Dean gave her as he _plump_ ed down in front of Sam's crib with his arms crossed and a determined look in his eyes a stated in a clear voice, "I no go to school if Sam no go."

It was the cutest thing Mary had ever seen, and it had taken all of her willpower not to coo over her son as she bent down in front of Dean's sulking form. "Honey, Sammy is too little to go to school with you. He can go to school when he's a big boy like you. But I promise you he will be right here waiting for you when your dad brings you home and you can play with Sam all you like until dinner. Deal?" Mary offered.

Dean studied his mom, looking for any hint of a sign that she was lying to him. Seeing none, he slipped his hand into his mom's. "Deal."

                                                                                                             *+++*

Those few years where they were brothers were precious memories to Sam Winchester because as the years passed an unexplained distance appeared between the brothers. It all started when Dean hit sixteen - suddenly the little brother he had been so proud of became the bane of his existence. Dean wanted nothing to do with his little brother.

Sam just wished he could know what he had done to make Dean hate him so much. He couldn't understand why, as soon as he hit his teens, Dean began lashing out, getting himself into trouble, attacking his family, attacking Sam, telling him how much he hated Sam and that he wished Sam had never been born. That had torn Sam's wounded heart in half.

Sam wasn't sure when his feelings for Dean moved from brotherly love to a different kind of love, a kind of love that most would consider wrong, so Sam had done his best to bury his less than brotherly feelings he had for Dean, but clearly something had given him away. That Dean knew of his feelings and that was why he was so disgusted with the idea of having Sam as a brother.

Shuffling along the hallways at school, Sam let the whispers of the tales of Dean Winchester fill his ears and his heart ache even more. Dean never hid the fact that he was sexually active from anyone and when their parents tried to talk to him or ground him, Dean would just sneak out and sleep with anyone that offered.

Oh, Sam heard the stories - the kids at his school couldn't help but talk about what it was like getting to sleep with Dean Winchester, and Sam heard the whispers in the hallways of guys and girls who would give anything to have a chance at being with Dean Winchester. Every word was like a dagger to Sam's heart, Sam who had turned out more of a freak then his family would ever know; after all who fell in love with their brother?

Sam was desperate for any kind of attention from his brother, even if it was Dean's scorn and disgust at having a nerd for a brother. Nothing Sam did was good enough for Dean, so he was forced to live through the tales of Dean through the rumours and stories for those who got a taste of what he longed for. So to distract himself from his lustful and wrong feelings for Dean Sam threw himself into his studies. He needed to do whatever it took to get away from Dean before his brother learned of his feelings and hated him even more than he already did.

All that studying paid off, and Sam ended up graduating at the top of his classes and earning a full ride to Stanford. And Sam was grateful that his tears could be seen as tears of joy instead of sorrow when Dean refused to come to his graduation ceremony. It felt like it was the final nail into the coffin of any kind of relationship he and Dean could have. He didn't think there was anything Dean could do to hurt him more than this, refusing to be a part of his big day.

Sam would later be proven wrong.

                                                                                                                  *+++*

The year that Sam left for Stanford, Dean had been gone for the whole summer, taking off with his latest fling the day of Sam’s graduation. All that had been left was a note stating that Dean was done with this one horse town. For the rest of the summer Sam did his best to keep his mind off of Dean but the moment one of the few and too far postcards reached them once again Dean was all Sam could think about.

At Stanford, Sam made it his life's mission to finally once and for all put his feelings for Dean behind him. ' _It's a new start_ ,' he told himself. _'If I can mean nothing to Dean then damn it I am going to make sure that by the time I am done with school, Dean will mean nothing to me either.'_

It wasn't easy to get over Dean, not when he owned all of Sam's heart and soul and at times it looked nearly impossible. Then Sam meet Jessica Moore and he felt the spark he had only felt with Dean before and thought she was the answer to his prayers.

                                                                                                                   *+++*

Sam knew he should be the happiest man alive; he had a wonderful family, even though his heart still carried such a deep ache knowing that Dean still hated his every existence; he had a wonderful job, adorable little boy and was married to a wonderful woman but his heart just wasn't in it and he knew that Jess's wasn't in this marriage as well.

There had been a time, when they first started dating that Sam was sure Jessica Moore was the woman he was going to spend the rest of his life with. But then things started to change and slowly bit by bit Sam began to falling out of love with Jess. The spark that had been there when they first met was gone, and Sam didn't know how to (and wasn't sure he wanted to) reignite that spark. That didn't mean that Sam didn't still love Jess - he did, but it wasn't the kind of love that a relationship could thrive on. No, it was more of a strong friendship.

"Sam, I am tired of seeing you miserable. Staying in a relationship because you are afraid of hurting Jess is no way to live. She's a nice girl, but sacrificing your happiness for hers isn't the foundation of a health relationship. I know you wanted to make this work with Jess, but sometimes things just aren't meant to be, and maybe you and Jess are one of those things," Meg advised Sam.

Sam couldn't deny that Meg had a point - okay, that she was right.

Meg Masters was Sam’s best friend. They had met the first day on campus, and Meg had been suckered in by Sam’s puppy eyes. Meg had never warmed up to Jess, and she had been convinced that Jess was seeing someone on the side. Sam didn't believe her; that was just not something Jess did, and she was faithful in their relationship. But with Jess's growing distance, it made the choice all the more easier for Sam - it was time to end their relationship. But still Sam could not deny that Meg had a point; why should he stay in a relationship where he was miserable? Didn’t he and Jess both deserve a chance at finding someone who could make them happy?

It hadn't been an easy decision, but Sam could see that he and Jess were drifting apart. Jess had become distant; missing out on dates, disappearing for hours without telling anyone, coming up with lame excuses as to why she flaked out on planned events or why she was hours late for a get together.

Sam had spent days coming up with the right words to break up with Jess to tell him that they should just be friends, but he never got a chance to give that speech. That night Jess dropped a bombshell - she was pregnant.

Jess came from an old-fashioned family and they would expect her and Sam to marry before the child was born. They would never accept her or any grandchild born out of wedlock. It was no secret as to how much Jess's family meant to her, so that night instead of breaking up with her like he had planned, Sam asked Jess to marry him.

When Sam thought he was going to get married it would be the happiest moment of his life. Instead he felt nothing but terror. How could they possibly make a marriage work when Sam didn't love Jess like he should, like a future wife? And what kind of marriage could they possibly have when it was born out of need and not love?

He also knew that Jess didn’t love him like she should a future husband, and Sam carried sorrow for both of them, but he held out hope that they could find common ground to give their child a happy home. That was all Sam wanted; he couldn’t force Jess to tell her family that they were not in love, but he would not let his child be raised in a war zone.

Meg slapped Sam on the back of the head and called him an idiot, but she stuck with him even though she and Jess never did see eye to eye (Meg never got over her distrust of Jess and hated the idea of Sam marrying her for their child’s sake, and Jess never could accept that Meg was just Sam's friend; she had convinced herself that there was something more than friendship between Meg and Sam. And a few times she tried to get Sam to give up his friendship with Meg, but Sam made it very clear that Meg was and would always be his best friend, and Jess would have to learn to live with it).

It wasn't easy at all, but the first time Sam held his son, Jaden Ross Winchester, he knew any problems between him and Jess were worth it. Jaden had quickly became Sam's whole world.

"I promise you, Jaden, that you will have the best life I can give you. No matter what happens, you will be loved," Sam vowed as he breathed in the scent of his son.

Tiredly from her bed Jess watched, her heart aching at the love she could already see that Sam carried for their son. ' _Please never let Sam find out the truth. It would destroy him,'_ she pleaded silently to whatever power was listening. 


	2. Chapter 2

**_Two years later_ **

All Mary Winchester wanted in life was for her children to be happy, so when it became clear to her that Sam was anything but, she flew down for a much needed talk.

"Sam, you know your daddy and I would be proud of you no matter what you do with your life. Now tell me, son, what makes you happy? Because we both know it isn't being a lawyer. The only time I see you light up anymore is with my gorgeous grandson," Mary told Sam bluntly over his and Jess’s kitchen table, Jaden seated happily in his father's lap playing with Sam's tie. Mary hadn't been sure of Jess - oh, she liked her well enough, but she knew love, real soul-bonding love, and what was between Sam and Jess was not that kind of love.

Sam slowly stroked Jaden's dark hair. Lately his son was his only true source of happiness and joy within his life. If he and Jess had been drifting apart before they got married, there was a canyon between them now. While Sam had lowered his work hours, Jess had doubled hers. She tried her best, but motherhood just wasn't something she had been cut out for. She tried, but when it came down to it Jaden preferred his father above his mother. It was towards Sam that Jaden took his first steps, and his first word had been “Da”. Jaden was Sam's whole world, and Jaden returned his father's love and devotion by loving him back just as deeply.

"I thought being a lawyer and helping people would make me feel good. But the law firm I work with pushes me towards helping those who can afford us, to get the real criminals off and screw over those who are in the right but can't afford a decent lawyer. I could leave and go to a smaller firm, but my heart just isn't in it anymore." Sam had loved studying law at Stanford; it had been his passion, but now that passion was gone.

"Honey, no one is telling you that you have to stop practicing law for good. But maybe for now, it would be best if you took a step back and found something else you can feel passionate about. I don't want to see you dragged down by a job you don't love." Mary worried about her son. Sam had always been special (it wasn't everyday that you got a full ride to Stanford, and Mary couldn't be prouder of her son). "Right now your focus seems to be on your son - as it should be - but I'm sure you will find something that makes you happy. And you know your father and I will support you no matter what you do," she reminded him.

Sam knew his mom was right - he had more important things to worry about than a job he didn't care for. "I'll think it over, Mom, but I want to be able to support my son and give him a good life." Nothing mattered more to Sam than being able to give his son a great life.

"Honey, as long as you love that boy you've already given him a great start in life. Jaden needs his father, not some fancy toys. You can give him a good life running a bar; you didn't turn out too bad, now did you? And your dad is just a simple mechanic, like your brother." Mary loved her son, but he had a habit of putting too much pressure on himself. And she was taking a chance by mentioning Dean; he was a rather taboo subject when it came to Sam. They hadn’t seen Dean in years, but every now and then he would drop them a postcard or a phone call to let them know he was alive.

(Latest news came from an old friend of John’s, Bobby Singer, that Dean had taken a job working as a mechanic at his shop, and Mary prayed that Dean found some kind of peace from whatever was tormenting him.)

That had Sam breaking out into a smile that even showed off his dimples. He knew that Dean was a sore subject for his mom and dad; they both missed Dean greatly, and despite Sam’s best efforts, no one had ever been able to replace Dean in their hearts. "No, I turned out pretty good. I just don't want to quit until I have something else lined up. I'll stick it out until I can find another job, one that makes me a fraction of happy as being a dad does." Sam couldn't help but press a kiss to the top of Jaden's head.

_'Plus I still have to tell Jess I'm quitting my job.'_ That was not a conversation Sam was looking forward to at all. He knew how proud Jess was of him being a lawyer. He wasn't sure but he thought part of the reason Jess stuck it out with him was so she could brag about her lawyer husband.

Mary couldn't help but grin at her son. "I wouldn't be surprised if Meg hasn't already started looking for a new job for you." She hadn't been sure of Meg at first; that girl had a few rough edges, but time and time again she had proven to be the best friend Sam could ask for. She was like an overprotective dog, snarling at everyone who posed a threat to Sam, and now that protection had extended to Jaden. Honestly Mary couldn't have hoped for a better friend for Sam.

_'That would be Meg,'_ thought Sam; she seemed to know what he was thinking before he was even aware of thinking it. "Of course she also has her hands full with Castiel and planning their wedding."

Now that had been a shock, when Meg had found someone to settle down with. Mary still wasn’t quite over it. "I never thought I'd see the day that Meg would get married." Castiel was completely different from Meg, and they shouldn't have worked the way they did, but they just _fit_.

"Meg just needed to find the right person and I really think that it’s Castiel." Sam wasn't going to lie; he’d had a bit of a crush on Castiel when he first met the man, but Castiel only had eyes for Meg and it didn't help that they met while planning Sam and Jess' wedding, which was a bad time for Sam to develop a crush on the brother of their wedding planner. To this day Sam still felt horrible about fantasizing about Castiel pinning him against the counter and taking him right there in Gabriel's shop, and more than once to Sam's shame it was Castiel's face he saw flashing before his eyes when he got himself off and not Jess. A few times he had had to bite his tongue to stop from calling out the wrong name. Sam and those closest to him knew he was bi, but it was only Meg who knew that he liked to bottom - a fact that only came out because he couldn't hold his liquid like Meg could, and she remembered him telling her in detail what he wished one of his professors would do to him. Meg never forgot. Before Jess and him got serious Meg would drag him out to clubs and encourage him to flirt with both men and women; she supported him and never once judged him for his life choices.

Besides, Meg never hid the fact that she loved to drag him to clubs and watch him get him on… something about him being all puppy-like that drove men and women insane with want. Sam still had no idea what she was talking about.

Besides Jaden, Sam had to admit that the next best thing about marrying Jess was Meg meeting Castiel, who was the brother of their wedding planner Gabriel, and had offered to help out. Sam hated feeling like that but he and Jess weren't happy; they acted more like strangers than husband and wife, and except for Meg and Gabriel all their friends were too nice to say anything. In some ways Sam wished he and Jess could be more like Meg and Castiel; from the moment they had met Meg and Castiel clashed like oil and water, but they completed each other like pieces to a puzzle.

Mary studied her son. She wanted Sam to be happy, but he wasn't with Jess. "Honey, you have to know that your father and I will support you no matter what you chose to do with your life. All we want is for you to be happy." She felt it was important to repeat that. Anyone with eyes could see that Jess and Sam were miserable together.

Sam knew his mother wasn't just talking about his job but also his marriage to Jess. "As long as I have you, Dad, Meg and of course Jaden in my life, I am happy."

Mary wasn’t surprised that Sam didn’t mention Jess - they weren’t happy, but Mary also had a feeling that the only thing that would make Sam as happy as Jaden did was Dean back in his life.

                                                                                                                   *+++*

It was Meg who came up with the solution to Sam's job problem; the town's kill free shelter was in danger of closing if they didn't find someone capable of running the shelter and turning it around. Without telling Sam (not that she would have asked for permission anyway because Meg knew him, and he would stay in a job he hated just to keep food on the table for his son) Meg submitted Sam's resume to the owners. Nothing surprised Sam more than getting a phone call asking him to come in for a job interview that he didn't remember applying for.

The shelter was run by Meg’s cousin Ruby, a smartass blond who took no shit from anyone. “Listen up pretty boy. I take no shit from anyone, but, as my girlfriend would tell you, I’m not manager material. I scare off possible investors and that’s not good for the animals. Meg has raved about you and let me tell you, Meg is not easy to impress, so that’s a pretty good reference for me. So do you think you can handle those with the big bucks? Of course, with one look at your puppy dog eyes they will melt,” Ruby stated the moment Sam sat down in the chair across from her; she saw no reason to beat around the bush. 

For a moment Sam couldn’t think of anything to say. He was use to dealing with Meg, but Ruby was a whole new level of brash. “Um, did Meg mention I have a two year old son who is my focus right now?” Sam loved the idea of working in a shelter, but there was no way that he was taking a new job that would take more time away from his son.

Despite how she didn’t want to, Ruby had to admit that the way Sam loved his son was adorable. “Trust me, I know all about Meg’s godson. You would not believe how much she gushes over him. I never took my cousin for a child person, but your son is a completely different story. Meg would have my head if I turned you away, because you’re a good dad. Besides, the hours are flexible so that any meetings could happen while you had him in daycare. My girlfriend Anna runs a pretty good one up the street so you would be in walking distance to see him.”

A job with flexible hours and a good daycare close by was everything Sam had been looking for. The closest one to his current job was five blocks away. “When can I start?” he asked eagerly.

Ruby grinned, “As soon as your two weeks are done at your old firm.”

                                                                                                                      *+++*

That night Sam and Jess had a loud fight, something that had been happening more and more lately. Sam was grateful that Jaden was such a sound sleeper; he refused to ever let Jaden see his parents fight.

“What do you mean you’re quitting your job? Didn’t you think that was something you should be talking over with your wife first?” Jess demanded. She couldn’t understand why Sam would want to leave his job as a lawyer to work in a shelter. It was mind blowing.

“I _am_ talking it over with you. But I thought you would at least be a little supportive of me. I’m miserable working at the law firm. The only time I’m happy is with Jaden. I only plan on this being a little while, Jess, just until Jaden is a little older. I want to spend time with my son, is that so wrong?” Sam asked, reaching out for Jess only to halt in mid air when she turned away from him.

Jess wanted Sam to be happy, but a selfish part of her liked having a lawyer for a husband to brag about in the office. “Do what you want, Sam, do what makes you happy. You always do. You never stop to think about what I want or what I need,” she snapped, knowing full well that Sam was the least selfish man she knew and that he only married her to make her happy and to stop her family from disowning her. “Ever stop to wonder that you being a little bitch is what made Dean leave?” She knew it was a low blow, but she wanted to hurt Sam.

Sam stumbled back; he couldn’t believe that Jess could say that to him. He knew she was lashing out but that struck a deep blow. She knew how much Sam longed to have Dean a part of his life. “If you really feel like that then why are you still with me?” he asked in a small voice. “I’ll move my stuff into the guestroom until I stop being a failure in your eyes.”

Jess was helpless to do nothing but watch as Sam slowly made his way up the stairs. She felt torn between wanting to call Sam back to say she was sorry and overcome with the need to get out, to get away from Sam and the pain she caused. It seemed to be becoming something of a habit to run when she hurt Sam instead of staying and fixing things, so she didn’t even hesitate to grab her keys and purse and head out with the strong urge to hurt Sam for not really loving her.

In the morning Sam wasn’t at all surprised to find Jess gone, and no matter how many times he tried to call her she never picked up. “Well, little man, it looks like it’s just us,” Sam whispered fondly to his son, vowing that he would never abandon his son like that.

Jaden let out a happy coo as he snuggled deeper into his dad’s hold unconcerned that his mother was nowhere around. As long as he had his father he would be content.


	3. Chapter 3

_Singer’s Salvage Yard, South Dakota_

Dean Winchester woke up to the sound of pounding at his front door. Casting a glance at his alarm clock, he let out a loud curse. “This better be fucking important at 3 am,” he snarled under his breath as he crawled out of bed.

He wasn’t at all surprised to see Jess standing at his door; his brother’s wife had been making it a habit of seeking him out whenever she and Sam had a fight. “Jess, what the hell are you doing here?” he demanded. He’d hated the blond since he first laid eyes on the girl who thought she was good enough for his Sammy.

Sammy... that was someone who Dean, despite his best, could never forget or stop thinking about.

He hated the distance between them, the distance that he had created in order to protect Sam from his un-brotherly thoughts. Sam had always been Dean’s whole world, his reason for getting up in the morning, his moon and sun. Dean’s world began with Sam and ended with Sam. Dean loved Sam with his whole heart and soul and that was why he did his best to keep Sam at arm’s length, to protect Sam from his wrong thoughts.

He wasn’t sure when his love for Sam went from brotherly to wanting Sammy to belong to him heart, soul and body. He had done everything to hurt Sam, to make Sam hate him, and it never seemed to work. Sam still looked at him with adoring eyes and something that Dean refused to name was the same kind of love he had for Sam.

Then Sam got into Stanford, and for a moment Dean entertained the idea of going with Sam to California, a place where no one would have to know they were brothers, but he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t taint Sam. And if he was wrong about how Sam felt about him then he would really lose Sam for good. So Dean did what he did best, and he buried his feelings under booze and any willing body.

But Dean couldn’t stay away from Sam; he was like a drug. He needed his fix in order to function. So Dean made his way to California to where Sam was. The possessive part of him, the part that screamed Sam belonged to him, was happy that Sam never seemed to notice any and all interested gazes sent his way.

That was until Jessica Moore, and then Sam started looking back.

Something snapped in Dean. How dare Sam fall for another? Didn’t he know that he belonged to Dean and Dean alone? Dean was filled with the need to hurt Sam, hurt him just as he had hurt him.

_'And how was Sam supposed to know that he hurt you? You did your best to push him away so was it really Sam’s fault that he fell for another?'_ The little voice in Dean’s head had whispered but he had been too consumed by his jealousy to pay any attention to it.

It had been sheer luck that Dean had run into Jess at a bar and she’d been Samless. It had been too easy to seduce the blond woman, and Dean hated her for how easy she fell into his bed when she was supposed to be loyal to Sam.

For two years whenever Dean was in town Jess found her way into his bed. It would have carried on longer, but Jess announced she was pregnant and Dean knew there was a 50-50 chance that the baby was his. He wanted to hurt his brother for making him love him the way he did, but even then he knew that this was a step too far. So Dean ended his affair with Jess. It actually wasn’t that much of a hardship; after all, he was only interested in Jess because she was with Sam. He had Sam back through her. It was so easy for Dean to pretend that it was Sam lying under him, moaning and grunting his name when Sam’s scent clung to Jess.  When Dean ended it he vowed never to cross paths with Sam or Jess again.

Too bad time had proven that he couldn’t stay away from Sam, and once again Dean had sought him out, if only to get a glimpse of him and he had. Sam looked so happy with his son and Dean knew he had done the right thing in stepping aside. He would never deny Sam his son.

Two years had been a long time since Dean had last laid eyes on Sam, and he’d drunk up every inch of him. The sight of Jess kissing Sam on her way out had had him burning with jealousy and anger that Sam had actually married someone who would willingly cheat on him. But Jess still smelled like Sam, so when he ran into her, he couldn’t resist taking her to bed if only to get a taste of Sam. And how dare she take and throw away what Dean would kill to have as his?

Jessica stared at the man before her. She knew that she shouldn’t be here but she wanted to hurt Sam, and this was the best way she knew how to. From the moment she laid eyes on Dean in that bar she had known who she was falling into bed with. She had seen the few pictures Sam had of his beloved big brother, and she wanted to taint the image of Dean in Sam’s eyes. What better way than sleeping with his beloved brother? She had truly loved Sam at the time, but his distance from her hurt. She knew that Sam wasn't in love with her and despite knowing she didn't love him either, it still stung. And then there was Dean Winchester - sin brought to life, a bad boy in every sense of the word, and just what she needed. She would have what Sam craved - Dean in her life, no matter how brief.

“Hello Dean.” Jess knew what she was doing was vindictive but she needed to make Sam hurt, even if he would never know. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?” she asked, smiling shyly at him.

Dean knew he should say no, send Jess on her way, but he could smell Sam on her and he felt his mouth watering with the need to taste Sammy. With a growl Dean buried his hand in Jess’ blond locks and with his eyes closed he could pretend that it was dark hair that he could run his hands through. Wrapping his free arm around Jess’ left leg, he hiked it around his waist as he continued to plunder her mouth.

Jess melted into Dean’s rough touch. She didn’t want soft and gentle, she wanted nothing like how Sam would treat her when she managed to entice him into bed with her. She wanted rough sex that would leave her aching, and Dean never failed to deliver. She didn’t even care that she was a stand in for someone else. She had long ago figured out that Dean and Sam’s love for one another went beyond brotherly, and at first she had been disgusted by it. She couldn’t understand how or why Sam had fallen in love with his brother, a brother that he believed hated him.

Oh, Sam couldn’t be more wrong; the few times that Jess managed to get Dean to talk, all he wanted to know was how was Sam doing. She could see the look in his eyes; he had the same look that Sam got when he looked at Jaden or talked about Dean. At one time Sam had even looked at her like she had hung the very sky. It took a while to get over it, and while she would never understand it, it really wasn’t her place to judge. It might have stung more if Jess had truly been in love with Sam but she wasn’t, she was just hurt that she wasn’t enough for either Sam or Dean. Right now, though, she just wanted to forget, and Dean was the best way how.

                                                                     *+++* 

As a rule Dean didn’t do cuddling, but it was the only way that Jess would bring up any mention of Sam, and as sick as it was Dean needed to hear about how his little brother was doing - even if it meant cuddling with his brother's wife after they just had sex.

“So what did the two of you fight about now?” Dean asked as he placed one arm behind his head and pretended that he didn’t really care what reasons drove her from her home all the way into his bed.

“Sam quit his job at the law firm to work in a shelter so he can have more time with Jaden,” Jess admitted as she laid next to Dean, staring up at his ceiling counting the spots. It hadn’t failed to catch her notice that Dean made sure that he never touched her after they had sex, and that was just fine with her.

Dean wasn’t sure why Jess was so surprised - from what she’d seen, Sam’s whole world revolved around his son and of course he would do everything in his power to spend more time with Jaden. Besides, before Sam had wanted to be a fancy lawyer, he’d wanted to be a veterinarian, so yeah he could see Sam taking a job at a shelter. “And you’re upset because it means the loss of a big shot lawyer to brag about?” Dean asked.

Jess rolled her eyes. It hurt that that was the first place that both Sam and Dean's thoughts went to. She wasn't a shallow gold digger, she was a young woman who had gotten married too young and had a child too soon. “It’s not that. I don’t care about that. I want Sam to be happy. It’s just the fact that Sam would make such a life-changing decision without consulting me first.”

Dean could hear the truth in her voice and forced himself to keep his tone neutral as he asked, "So are you finally going to get a divorce from Sam?"

That was the million dollar question. Honestly Jess had no clue. She knew deep down it would be the right thing to do. She and Sam hadn't let their fights reach Jaden yet, but it was still only a matter of time until their home became too toxic for their son. Sam was a good guy and he didn't deserve a wife who cheated on him with his own brother, but Jess didn't want to be the one to end their marriage. Her family would never forgive her. "I can't divorce Sam until he asks for one; my family would disown me the moment they learned I asked for a divorce. They may not be perfect, but they are my family."

"And Sammy will never do it because he thinks that you two staying married is what your family wants." Dean knew his brother, and honestly Sam had too big of a heart. It was going to cause him a deep hurt one day.

A terrible thought crossed Jess's mind, one that she nearly dismissed the moment she thought it, but she was desperate and she found herself twisting around in bed to face Dean. "What if I did something that Sam could never forgive, and it hurts him so deeply that he agrees to a divorce?"

A sickening feeling grew in Dean's chest; he had a pretty good idea what Jess was hinting at and it made him sick to even think about it.

_'Oh so now you have morals? Where were they when you started screwing Sam's wife? Sam will be devastated if he ever learned the truth of what you and dear Jessica have been getting up to. It will kill Sam if Jaden turns out not to be his actual son.'_ That little voice that Dean hated so much spoke up. The reason Dean hated it was because it was always right.

"You want Sam to catch us in bed together, don't you?" Dean asked for clarity.

Jess didn't want to hurt Sam like this, but she really didn't see much choice. "Sam would hate me and want nothing to do with me."

"And me," Dean added in a near whisper. He had done whatever he could to push Sam away from him, to keep him safe from his perverted feelings and this just might be what destroyed the bridges between him and Sam for good. "What about your son? I refuse to drag an innocent kid into a messy divorce." Dean might not be able to keep Sam from harm, but he could do his best to protect Sam's son.

"I'm not ready to be a mom. I barely even know my son, and he barely knows me. Sam is the right person to raise him." It was hard for Jess to admit but she wasn't ready to be a mother. She just couldn't seem to form a bond with Jaden and she would admit, if only to herself, that she was jealous of how easy it was for Sam to bond with Jaden.

It didn't seem fair that in order to protect Sam, Dean was going to have to shatter his heart into pieces. ' _I hope someday you can forgive me for this, Sammy. I hope someday when I stop feeling this way towards you maybe I can try to be a brother to you again.'_ Dean didn't have high hopes of that happening, but he could fool himself for a little longer. "What do you need me to do?"

Even though he tried to hide it, Jess could hear the underlying pain in Dean's voice. She wished that there was another way, another man, but no other guy would do, no other guy would make Sam finally see that she wasn’t worthy of him, except for the man he's been in love with since he knew what love was.

                                                                              *+++*

When Jess returned home Monday morning Sam was torn between relief and anger; relief that she had returned home, and anger because she couldn't be bothered to call to let him know that she was okay. That resulted in another fight that had Sam extending his stay in the guestroom and silence between them, which only broke when Jaden was in the room. When their son was around they put on an act that everything was okay between them.

The distance that had been building between them and their marriage was on the edge of collapsing and Sam couldn't find the strength to attempt and fix what was wrong between them.

What Dean and Jess did next was purely designed to harm Sam, to push him to that breaking point where he wanted nothing to do with either Dean or Jess ever again. Dean had learned Sam’s schedule - it wasn’t hard to. Sam made sure he was done with work in time to pick up Jaden and bring Jaden to the shelter to visit the friendly animals and then home. Only today was the day that Jaden was spending the night at his Aunt Meg's house - Sam had arranged it so that he and Jess could finally talk.

Well, that was Sam's plan. What Dean and Jess had planned was very different, and Dean made sure that he was buried balls deep in Jess. Making her moan and scream his name while he fucked her senseless in the bed she shared with his Sammy, her husband.

The sight of Dean’s pride and joy sitting in his driveway had Sam inhaling sharply, and his fingers tightened on the steering wheel until they were white. It had been years since Sam had last laid eyes on his brother; once Dean had left he’d dropped all contact, refusing to come to Sam's wedding, and he hadn't even met his nephew.

"Don't get your hopes up, Sam, this could be nothing. For all you know, Dean got himself into some sort of trouble and came to you because he knows you'll take his case for free," Sam mumbled to himself as he eased his car into the free spot, thankful that he managed to keep his calm and not crash his car.

For several moments Sam just sat in his car, trying to work up the courage to get out of his car and actually go into his house and lay eyes on his brother for the first time in seven years. "Come on, Sam, this is the day you’ve been dreaming about." And that was what Sam was afraid of; he was afraid that he was in for nothing but a disappointment, that his meeting with Dean would never match up to his dreams or wishes.

"Well, there is only one way to find out, Sam." Taking a deep breath, Sam willed himself to open the door to his car.

The house was eerily quite as Sam entered. A frown appeared on his face as he took in the empty rooms. "Jess? Dean? Anyone home?" Sam called out as he stepped further into the house. The door closing behind him sounded rather ominous and Sam tried not to shiver at the feeling of dread that went down his spine.

After checking the living room, kitchen, and Jaden's playroom, Sam slowly made his way up the stairs, a part of him hoping that Jess was showing Dean Jaden's bedroom. But the feeling of dread got stronger and stronger as he reached the top of the stairs. His heart pounded in his chest at the sight of the closed door to the master bedroom, and he could feel his palms sweating; he couldn’t escape the growing dread in the pit of his belly.

Slowly Sam made his way down the hall. The faint sounds he couldn't hear before were now reaching his ears. Tears began to well in his eyes as he approached his room; he wasn't even aware he was chanting, "Please no," over and over again as his hand fell onto the doorknob.

With the swing of the door opening, Sam felt his world crumbling beneath his feet as he watched his wife’s nails rake down Dean’s strong back as Dean thrusted into her. Sam felt sick as he listened to Jess’s moans and cries, and Dean’s answering grunts. Sam had thought Dean wishing he had never been born had been the worst pain he’d experienced, but he was wrong. Watching the woman who claimed to love him and the man who owned his heart and soul fuck in his and Jess’s bed was the worst thing ever. Sam wasn’t sure how he was still standing when his heart had been ripped out of his chest. ' _I always knew Dean hated me but I didn’t think he hated me this much.'_

Grateful that he hadn’t been heard or seen, Sam backed away from the room, covering his ears from the sounds still coming from the room. Sam rushed to the bathroom as the urge to be sick grew stronger and stronger. Only one thought was running through his head: ' _How could Dean do this to me?'_

                                                                          *+++*

Dean had always been well tuned to sensing when Sam was around, and it seemed that hadn’t changed in the years they had been apart; he felt Sam long before the choked sob reached his ears. It had taken all of Dean's willpower not to jump off Jess that moment and comfort his brother. But he couldn't, he had to see this through to the end, even if it was tearing his heart apart piece by piece.

 

                                                                         *+++*

Sam wasn't sure how long he sat in the darkness of the living room, staring blankly at nothing as he waited for Dean and Jess to finish up before he confronted them. Not that Sam was sure he could - he had tried practicing what he wanted to say to them but he was a mixture of anger and hurt and he couldn't think properly. He had no idea how much time had passed until he heard two sets of footsteps on the stairs.

"For years I have been wishing and hoping to see my big brother again. I just didn't think the first time I would see him again would be him fucking my wife."

Sam's low gravelly voice, the voice Dean knew Sam had when he had been sick or crying, greeted them. Despite being as ready as they could be for when Sam confronted them, nothing prepared them for how Sam truly looked until he turned the lamp on beside him.

Dean had done a lot of horrible things to make Sam hate him, but the utterly shattered look in Sam’s eyes... Dean couldn’t remember the last time he had seen those amazing eyes look so lifeless.

_'You wanted your brother to hate you? Well good job there, Dean-o, it looks like you finally succeeded. There is no way that Sam won’t hate you now,'_ that little voice mocked at the back of Dean’s head.

“Maybe I should leave, let you two lovebirds work this out?” Dean offered.

An ugly sneer appeared on Sam’s face, the likes of which neither Dean nor Jess had seen before. “It’s just like you, Dean, isn’t it, to run off when you need to atone for your actions? You have no problem screwing my wife in our bed but you bail the moment you get caught. I never pictured Dean Winchester as a coward.”

That was a low blow and Dean staggered back but he had earned it, he had earned any nasty word Sam called him and if Sam wanted to hit him then Dean would take the hits willingly. After all, he owed it to Sam.

No one said anything for several moments. The only sound was Sam's ragged breathing, until finally he found his voice. “How long?”

“How long what?” Jess asked, having a pretty good what Sam was asking but needing to be sure all the same.

Sam pinned Jess with a cold hard look, but he couldn't bring himself to look at Dean. It hurt too much to know how little his brother cared about him. It was Dean's betrayal that cut deeper than Jess's, and wasn’t that just the kicker? Tt tore into Sam that his wife got a taste of something he’d only had in dreams. “How long have you been sleeping with my brother?”

Jess took a step back. She had never seen Sam so angry before and it pained her to know that she had caused him that kind of hurt. But the bitter part of her sneered, ' _he’s mad because you touched his precious Dean. If it had been any other man he wouldn’t have cared. And notice how he doesn't ask Dean how long he was sleeping with his wife? Oh no, you are the bad guy here for sleeping with Dean.'_ Jess crossed her arms over her chest and jutted out her chin and stated proudly, “On and off for the past three years.”

Sam stumbled back. ' _Three years?'_ A horrible thought wormed its way into Sam’s head and he forced back the bile that wanted to come up as he asked in a broken voice, “Is Jaden my son?”

Dean doubted there was anyone more shocked then him when he kneeled in front of Sam and took his brother's hands in his. He wondered if Sam felt the jolt of electricity that he did. "No Sammy, you listen to me. That little boy is yours. Never ever doubt that. Nothing will ever change the fact that you are Jaden's only father."

The moment Dean's hands touched his Sam found it hard to remember why he was so upset. His body sung at finally being so close to Dean again, and it wasn't until he got a whiff of Dean's scent; it was the usual leather and motor oil, only now it was muted under the smell of sex and Jess. The question Sam asked was not the one he meant to but the only one he cared about. "What did I do to make you hate me so much? Was I really that horrible of a brother that the first time I see you again is you sleeping with my wife?"

The pain and tears in Sam's eyes made Dean wish he could go back in time and undo all of this. "Sammy, you did nothing wrong. I'm just too selfish to be a big brother." The feeling of Sam withdrawing his hands broke something inside of Dean.

"I'm leaving now; I'm going to spend the night at Meg and Castiel's. I'm not sure when I’ll be back but I would like the two of you to not be here when I return." Sam made sure not to look at either of them as he got up and made his way over to the door, his shoulders hunched and his posture that of a broken man.

“What will you tell Jaden?” Jess asked, stopping Sam in his tracks.

At the mention of their son Sam felt a new wave of pain soar through his heart. He wasn’t sure what he would do if it turned out Jaden wasn’t his son but Dean’s. “I’ll tell him that you’re sick.  I’m not going to stop you from being a part of Jaden’s life, Jess, no matter what. You are his mother.” Sam forced himself to turn around and face Jess. “I won’t turn our son against you but I won’t force you to be a part of his life if you don’t want to be. We are through, but I would never deny Jaden having his mother in his life.”

It tore Dean to shreds to watch his brother leave like that, but there was nothing he could do to undo the damage he had caused. He had made his bed, and now he had to lie in it.

Swallowing hard, Dean forced his voice to work but could not bring himself to look at Jess. "I'll take you where you want to go, but after that lose my number for good."

                                                                     *+++*

It was nearly a week before Sam returned home. Jaden had been over the moon to spend so much time at his favourite aunt and uncle’s place. From time to time he would ask about Jess or why they couldn’t go home, though, and it had killed Sam to lie to his son. Meg, on the other hand, once she found out what had happened she wanted nothing more than to go over to Sam’s place and show Jess and Dean what happened to people who hurt her family. Luckily Castiel and Sam had managed to talk her out of that plan.

Sam really wasn’t sure what to expect when he got home, but he wasn’t shocked to find that Dean was gone. Sam had no idea if he had taken Jess with him and he really didn't care at this point. He was still too raw and hurt. He’d meant what he said to Jess, that he wouldn’t cut her out of Jaden’s life, but he couldn’t be around her, not with the betrayal still too fresh.

Sam was eternally grateful to Anna for having planned a day that wore Jaden out. Leaving their bags, knowing he would get them at another time, Sam unbuckled Jaden from the car seat, smiling as his son didn’t wake up, and gently lifted him into his arms. This wasn’t the first time that Sam had to carry a sleeping Jaden, so he knew just what to do.

If it took Sam a little longer than normal to open the door, he didn’t think anyone could blame him; the last time that he’d entered his house was to find his brother fucking his wife. But Jaden’s health came first, and with a deep breath Sam forced himself to open the door.

Silence, nothing but silence greeted him and for a moment Sam was unsure how to act. The house suddenly felt too large, too empty. Too much for just him and Jaden. ' _I wonder if I should put the place up for sale or see if Jess wants it.'_ Sam couldn’t see himself living there, not with the memories of what had happened here.

Walking into the living room, Sam’s breath caught at the sight of a folded up piece of paper and a ring lying on top of them. Keeping a firm grip on his son, Sam picked up the documents off the small table.

Sam’s hard-earned law degree came in handy as he read.

All that remained of Sam and Jess’s marriage was Jess’s wedding band on top of signed divorce papers that gave sole custody of Jaden to Sam. Sam was numb to everything but his son; he felt like his whole world had crashed.

As if sensing his father’s distress, Jaden let out a soft cry, as if reminding Sam that he would always be there.

Sam cuddled his son closer and pressed a soft kiss onto the top of his hair. “Well, buddy, it looks like it’s just the two of us. I promise you, little guy, no one will ever hurt you the way your mom and uncle hurt me."


	4. Chapter 4

_Four years later_

"Daddy!" Jaden let out happy cry as he rushed towards his father as quick as his little legs could carry him. Even at six, Jaden's favourite person in the whole world was still his father.

Grinning, Sam dropped down and opened up his arms and caught the flying missile that was his son. He never failed to pick up his son from school; it was the highlight of his day. "Hiya, sport," Sam greeted as he caught Jaden and lifted him up into a huge hug, swinging him about, grinning like a fool when Jaden let out a loud joyful laugh. It was these moments that reminded Sam that he’d made the right decision in giving up being a lawyer.

Sam was thankful for his friends and family, who had helped him through the pain of losing both Jess and Dean, and adjusting to becoming a single father. It hadn’t been easy, but eventually Sam got over the hurt, the betrayal and the heartbreak that Dean and Jess’s affair had caused him. The sad thing was that part of Sam still loved Dean with all his soul and he would forgive everything if there was even a hint that Dean felt the same that Sam did.

But of all Sam felt that his son suffered the most; he lost his mother. Sam didn’t know what happened to Jess; in the past four years he hasn’t heard a word from her. Sam would never keep Jaden from his mother, but he couldn’t force Jess to be a part of Jaden’s life, and his heart broke for his son.

"Are we going to see Grandma today?" Jaden's question brought Sam back, away from the past, and forced him to once again focus on his son.

After losing John to a heart attack two years ago, Mary had left Lawrence, Kansas, and moved in down the block from Sam to help him look after Jaden. Jaden would spend every other weekend with his grandmother. It seemed he had a passion for cooking, and Mary had no problem in indulging him.

Sam was grateful to have his mom so close after losing his dad. Sam wasn't even sure if Dean knew about John or not. He knew Mary had gotten in contact with John's old friend Bobby, whom Dean worked for when he was around, but Dean had been a no show at their dad's funeral. But a bottle of their dad's favorite whiskey had been placed next to the headstone so maybe Dean had been there, but Sam hadn't seen him.

In the past four years Sam had only heard from Jess once, and that was to tell him she was sorry but she needed to be free to live her own life and that she hoped one day Sam could tell Jaden about her without hatred and bitterness. Sam had told her no matter how he felt about her he would never badmouth her to their son, and if she wanted to see Jaden all she had to do was ask. She never did, though.

Sam had no idea if Jess and Dean are still together. He hoped not, because that was something that he doubted he could ever recover from.

"You bet! Your grandma has a fun night for you planned. I think she mentioned something about chocolate cookies." Unlike Sam, Jaden had a sweet tooth and he loved pies almost as much Dean did, and at first that had fed Sam’s fear that Dean really was Jaden’s father until his dad had talked to him.

_“Son, it doesn’t matter who Jaden’s biological father really is. Blood doesn’t always make you family. It’s how much you love that little boy of yours that matters. You are the only father Jaden has ever known and he loves you just as much as you love him.”_ John Winchester normally didn’t talk about such things and Sam treasured those words even more now.

Jaden's face lit up into a wide smile. "Yeah! Let's go, Dad!"

Sam only laughed and allowed Jaden to drag him to his car.

                                                                      *+++*

"Grandma!"

A bright smile appeared on Mary's face as she caught her missile of a grandson. "Oof, you are getting stronger everyday, Jaden; soon you'll be as big and as strong as your dad," Mary told her grandson.

A wide grin made its way across Jaden's face. In his eyes nothing could be higher praise than being like his father. "Daddy says we are going to be making cookies."

Mary shot her son a look but couldn't maintain a stern look at the puppy dog eyes her son sent her away. "I'm not surprised that your dad let it slip He never was very good at keeping secrets." She then gave her son a look that said she was just kidding. As she wrapped an arm around Jaden, she raised an eyebrow at Sam. "So what are your plans for tonight?"

Sam knew that if Meg had it her way she would be setting him up on another date. He would be the first to admit that he had hit a dry spell lately, but Meg's attempts at setting him up hadn't gone over that well. First there had been Lucifer who, while hot, had been a little too possessive for Sam's taste; and then there had been Michael, who was too wrapped up in being the good son and making Lucifer miserable. It didn't take long for Sam to figure out that they carried feelings for one another but were bound by being brothers just like he had been with Dean.

"I have a few movies that I've been meaning to watch, and a book I want to finish up," Sam explained, shrugging his shoulders.

Mary looked at her son sadly. She was sure that it was more than just Jess leaving him for Dean. Mary still hadn't been able to forgive Dean or Jess for what they did to Sam, but she would give anything to have Dean back in their lives, and Sam and Dean fixing whatever was wrong between them.

Jaden made a face. "Dad, that sounds boring. Is this what Aunt Meg means when she calls you a stick in the mud?" he asked.

A sigh escaped Sam's lips. "What have I told you about listening to what your Aunt Meg has to say?" he asked, reminding his son.

"Not to take her word as truth and to think for myself,” Jaden repeated dutifully.

Grinning, Sam bent down and tousled his son's hair. "You be good for your grandma, and remember that there are other foods out there other than just pies and cookies," he reminded his son.

"I know, Dad, I just don't like them as much as pies or cookies," Jaden informed his father.

"Don't you worry, I'll make sure he eats something other than cookies," Mary promised; she knew how important it was to Sam that Jaden had a proper and healthy diet.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Call me if you need anything. I love you, Jaden. Be good for your grandma." Sam held his son close and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

Jaden's arms came up and wrapped around Sam. "I love you too, Dad."

Sam clung a little tighter than normal to Jaden. He couldn’t get over this feeling he had pooling in his stomach that something bad was going to happen. But that was just foolish thinking. Jaden was going to be just fine spending the Friday night with his grandmother like he usually did.

                                                                          *+++*

Sam should have known that Meg would have an ulterior motive to inviting him out at the new bar she was obsessed with. He closed his eyes and counted to ten, and once that was done he opened them and plastered on a fake smile as he headed towards the table that not only Meg and Castiel were seated at but a third person as well. It wasn’t the first time that Meg had attempted to set him up, and Sam figured it wouldn’t be her last try.

“Please let him be better than Lucifer,” Sam prayed under his breath. The last time Meg had attempted to set him up, it was with her cousin Lucifer who was nice at first but then he started on how Sam was made for him, and it had made Sam extremely uncomfortable.

Meg’s face lit up in a smile. “Sam! I’m glad you made it. I hope you don’t mind me inviting my friend, Benny Lafitte. I’ve told him all about you. He's the head chef at The Rose, that hot new restaurant that has almost a year's waiting list. Benny pulled a few strings and got me and Castiel reservations there for our anniversary.”

Benny turned around to face Sam and let a small smirk draw on his face. “Well hello, Sam, I’ve heard so much about you. You’re all Meg ever talks about, and I have to say that she hasn’t done you justice.”

Sam did his best not to swoon; Meg knew that he had a weakness for accents, and Benny’s southern drawl made him wonder what it would sound like when rough with sex. Benny looked like he would have no problem in dominating Sam in bed; he could already picture those strong hands holding him down. It had been a long time since Sam had had a man in his bed and he had been missing the feel of another man’s body over his, filling him in a way a woman couldn’t. Since Jess had left Sam had been so focused on raising his son he couldn’t remember the last time he got off other than by his own hand. “I wish I could say the same about you, but Meg’s been rather mum about you. But I look forward to getting to know you, Benny. So how did you met Meg?"

"Benny is the teacher for the defense course that I'm taking with Anna and Ruby. We got talking and struck up a friendship with him," Meg explained.

She grinned even when Sam shot her a look that said ' _we will be talking about this later_.' She thought, ' _you'll thank me later. It's time you got out there again. I won't let what Dean and Jess did to you ruin your life.'_ She was going to make sure that Sam did his best to start to live again. She adored her nephew but Sam had put all his energy into making sure that Jaden was happy that he was forgetting that he needed to have a life outside of Jaden.

Sam found himself loosening up after a few drinks, but he was careful not to overdo it. He had always been a lightweight, something that Dean used to tease him about for years. A familiar ache entered Sam's chest at the thought of his brother; it seemed that no matter how much time had passed he was still carrying a torch for him.  ' _No, Meg is right; it's time I started dating. It's no use to anyone, holding onto a hopeless dream. Dean will never be mine. Hell, he's made it clear he doesn't even want to be my brother. So for my sake and for Jaden’s, I need to let go of Dean.'_

With new determination Sam focused his attention on Benny, flashing him his shy smile that Meg swore could work its magic on anyone who saw it. "So, Benny, since Meg has been a bad girl in keeping you all to herself, why don't you tell me about yourself?"

Letting a sexy smirk appear on his face, Benny leaned in closer to Sam. Meg had been right when she told him that Sam would surprise him. "Sure thing, sweetheart, I'll tell you anything you wanna hear."

"Well, we’ll let you two kids get to know one another. Come on, Cas, I want to dance." Not giving her husband much of a choice, she yanked Castiel off his chair with surprising strength for someone of her size.

Castiel didn't bother to fight; when his dark beauty wanted something he was usually more than happy to give it to her and while he wasn't the world's greatest dancer he would never say no to feeling Meg's body pressed against his.

Sam and Benny watched them go, before Benny let out a chuckle. "Meg's not subtle at all, is she?" he asked with a knowing smirk on his face.

While Sam dearly loved his best friend, _Meg_ and _subtle_ did not belong in the same sentence unless _not_ was in between them. "Meg has never shied away from going after what she wanted - how do you think she got Castiel?" At Benny's confused look Sam smiled and explained, "When Meg laid eyes on Castiel she vowed that he would be hers. She went all out in letting Castiel know that she was interested in him. Castiel, as you can tell, isn't the most social guy around and he didn't notice that Meg was flirting with him until she walked right up to him and kissed him, and then proceeded to inform him that he was taking her out Friday night, and wrote her address and phone number on a piece a paper which she then tucked into his jacket pocket with a stern warning of ‘don't lose that’." It was impossible to forget the stunned look on Castiel's face as Meg flounced away from him.

"You know, somehow I can see Meg doing that. I guess Meg and I have that in common; we go after what we want." Benny didn't bother to hide the heat in his eyes as he looked at Sam.

The heat in Benny's voice left no doubt in Sam's mind just what Benny was after and he suddenly found it a lot hotter than it had been a few moments ago. As he took a sip of his drink, Sam was unsure how to act. Meg was right; it had been a long time since he had loosened up and just had fun, and even if it was just for the weekend at least it was a start.

                                                                      *+++*

Meg looked like the cat that got the canary as she watched Sam flirt back with Benny. Turning in Castiel's arms, she looped her arms around his neck and she grinned up at him. "Admit it, I am good."

"I will admit that in this case you were correct when you suggested setting Sam up with Benny. But I would not get too excited; Sam has taken a big step tonight but I do not think that one night with Benny will change anything. Sam's heart still belongs to Dean," Castiel pointed out.

Meg knew her husband spoke the truth; as much as she would like for Benny to be the sudden reason for Sam to get over Dean, that was just foolish thinking. Sam's love for Dean was unceasing despite everything Dean had done to him. "Stop speaking sense. I would like to celebrate my victory for tonight before the harsh truth of Sam still loving that jerk ruins my parade," she scolded Castiel.

"Then I shall do my best to keep my opinions to myself until a later date when I can break out the _I told you so_ ," Castiel stated seriously.

Meg couldn't help but roll her eyes; she loved her husband something fierce even despite his complete lack of social skills. "Shut up and kiss me," she ordered.

That was an order that Castiel was more than happy to comply with.

                                                                   *+++*

A soft sigh escaped Sam as he watched Meg and Castiel kiss on the dance floor. Despite the fact that they were each other's complete opposites they just fit like two halves of a whole. Sam wanted to feel like that; the problem was that the only one he felt that way with was Dean. It was the truth Dean was his other half.

"I'm not going to fool myself into thinking that this could be anything more than a friendship with a few benefits thrown in. Your heart is not free, cher, you are in love with someone and you are in no hurry to reclaim it," Benny spoke up.

Sam wanted to deny the words, but he knew Benny was right and he felt horrible. "I'm sorry. I've been in love with the same person almost my whole life and no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to stop loving him. He's been my whole world for so long, until my son came along."

"It sounds like you really love him. Does he feel the same way?"

Sam shook his head no. "No, he doesn't, he's made his feelings for me very clear." At Benny's puzzled look Sam let out a bitter chuckle and explained, "I found him in bed with my wife at the time. They took off together and I haven't seen or heard from them since." Sam liked Benny but there was no way that he was admitting that the man he was talking about was his brother.

Benny let out a low whistle. "Damn, that's rough. I'm sorry, Sam, you didn't deserve that." He couldn't see how anyone could hurt the man in front of him like that. He might have not known Sam long but he seemed like a great guy and it baffled him that anyone could hurt the young man in front of him so deeply.

"Sam, I'm not the kind of guy that beats around the bush. I like you, and I would like to give you one night where you are treated the way you should always be treated." Shifting closer Benny pressed a gentle kiss against the corner of Sam's mouth.

Sam liked Benny's honesty, and he couldn't see what harm one night could do him. "I'd like that a lot."

Benny's smile lit up his whole face. "Well then let's go, cher. I have plans for you that would get us kicked out in seconds, or me in jail, because I might end up punching the first man who looks at you, ‘cause tonight you are mine," he purred.

Sam couldn't hide the shiver that wracked his body. "I don't top," he whispered. He didn't think it would be an issue with Benny, but in the past it had been that some took his height and size to mean that he was an alpha male who always topped, when nothing could be further from the truth. Sam hated topping with a passion.

"Trust me, I know you're all bottom." Benny couldn't see how anyone would think that Sam was a top when everything about him screamed nothing but bottom. "I don't think either Meg or Castiel would mind if we skip out early."

The fact that him being a bottom didn't bother Benny made Sam smile, and he really wanted to see what the other man had planned for him. "Given that Meg went to the trouble to arrange this meeting, I think she'll be pissed if we didn't cut out early. And you don't want to deal with a pissed off Meg."

"I promise that Meg, Castiel and that fool who broke your heart won't be on your mind at all tonight. In fact, tonight I don't think you need to worry about doing all that much thinking," Benny promised.

"Let's get out of here." He put down his drink and took Sam's hand in his and helped him up from the table.

From their spot on the dance floor Meg and Castiel watched Benny and Sam leave. There was a smile on Meg's face; yep she was good. ' _I'll have to make sure to stop in tomorrow and see how Sam's night went.'_

                                                                         *+++*

Sam was quick to learn that Benny had a very talented mouth, as the older man kept him pinned against his car. As Benny's mouth worked along his neck Sam whimpered softly. "We need to carry this on at my place just in case my son needs me," he managed to force out.

Benny could understand that - Meg had told him right off the bat that Sam had a little boy that was his whole world, and it made Benny admire him all the more. It couldn't be easy being a single father. "Of course, cher, whatever you is best for you. And before you ask, I don't need to worry about my car. I hitched a ride with Meg and Castiel; she was very determined that this meeting went off the way she planned it," Benny informed him.

For a moment Sam hesitated; this wasn’t him, he didn’t do one night stands, but Benny was funny and charming and it had been so long since he had a strong man fuck him. He could just picture Benny's fingers working him open just enough so that it would be a mixture of pleasure and pain when Benny slipped into him. And it wasn't like Benny was some stranger he picked up at the bar - Meg knew him, and she would never do anything to put him or Jaden in any kind of danger, and that was good enough for Sam. "Then I guess that's one less thing to worry about."

The sexy smirk that crossed Benny's face promised many many dirty things and Sam found he couldn't wait.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Sam awoke to being deliciously sore in places he hadn't been sore in a very long time. He had forgotten how good it felt to have another man pleasure him, instead of just his own hands and fingers.

It had also been a very long time since Sam woke up to another body in his bed that wasn't his son sneaking in after a nightmare. Turning around, Sam came face to face with a grinning Benny.

"Cher, it's not fair that you look so delicious this morning. If I had the time I would love to ravage you all over again," Benny commented as his dark eyes drank in the sight of Sam still rather tussled up from their very late night.

"Why can't you? Do you have to leave right away?" Sam asked. He didn't want Benny to leave right away, he enjoyed the other man’s company.

"I would, cher, but don't you have a little boy coming home soon? I know that Meg will most likely be dropping by at some point to interrogate you about our night and I doubt that you want her to do that when your son is home. And Meg will more than likely show up early enough to catch us," Benny pointed out.

Sam knew that Benny was right; Meg would be showing up here at any time and while Sam wouldn't mind a repeat of last night, he knew that was not going to be the case. "I just didn't want to frighten you off or seem rude that I was rushing you off," he explained.

"Cher, there is not a rude bone in your body. I would love to stay for a repeat but I need to be at work. The kitchen don't run without its head chef. But I would love to see you again, if that is at all possible. Bring your boy around to the restaurant some time, I'll whip him up the best chicken nuggets and fries that little boy has ever tasted," Benny promised.

"I want to thank you for last night, Benny. It's been a long time since I've been that wanted or needed. I know I can't offer much more than friendship right now, but I would love for you to meet Jaden. My little boy loves cooking and maybe you could teach him a few things," Sam suggested.

Benny slowly stroked Sam's cheek. "Friendship is fine with me, cher, and I look forward to meeting with Jaden. He must be someone special if Meg of all people gushes about her nephew."

That got Sam to chuckle. "It has been known to shock people, to see Meg softening up and acting like a completely different person when Jaden is around. I couldn't imagine a better person to be Jaden’s aunt. She really does love him."

That had to be one special little boy, and Benny looked forward to meeting him. "I'll have to meet this little man of yours soon, but I better get out of here before Meg arrives to witness my walk of shame." Benny didn't want to leave, but what little he knew of Sam was he wouldn't be comfortable having him around when Meg ribbed him. "Next time I'll cook for you," Benny promised.

That had Sam grinning. "You sound so sure that there is going to be a next time."

"I am, unless that man you love finally wises up and comes for you. Until then I plan on wooing you," Benny promised with a wink.

And despite the fact that his heart still longed for Dean, Sam found himself open to the idea of Benny trying to court him.

                                                                             *+++*

Try as he might Sam could not get Benny to stay with him and enjoy the wonderful breakfast that he’d whipped up for him before Sam saw him off with a kiss. Sam was grateful to be alone as he took his first bite of the cheese omelet that Benny had made for him and let out a pornographic moan at the taste, because if Jaden had been there he would have scolded his dad for his lack of table manners as he devoured the plate of food in front of him.

Just as he was finishing up his phone rang and Sam's eyes shot to it, his heart pounding in his chest as it rang once and then went silent. It wasn't the first time that Sam's phone had rung once and then its caller hung up, and after the few times it happened Sam stopped playing it off as a wrong number. He didn't say it out loud but in his heart he hoped that it was Dean reaching out to him, and he longed for the day that Dean would let it ring enough times for Sam to answer it. He just needed to hear his brother's voice again.

 

                                                                             *+++*

In South Dakota, Dean Winchester hung up the phone with nothing but pure loathing for himself. After the first ring, as much as he wanted to hear Sam's voice even if it was his brother telling him off and calling him all sorts of names that he more than earned, the truth was Dean couldn't bear to hear the venom or hate in Sam's voice. "You're a coward, Dean Winchester, nothing but a coward."

 

                                                                             *+++*

Sam wondered if he should have been surprised to find Meg and Castiel in his living room waiting for him when he got done with his shower.

Meg let out a wolf whistle as she recognised the way Sam moved gingerly. "Someone looks like they got fucked nice and good."

Sam was really starting to regret giving Meg a spare key to his house; she took it as permission to drop by whenever she thought that there was a chance Sam was getting laid, to watch him do the walk of shame. "Don't you ever knock?"

Meg shot Sam a smirk. "Come on, Sam, you know that I don't. So spill all the dirty details. Leave nothing out. How many times did Benny and you do the deed? I'm amazed that you two managed to make it back here. You were all over him. I told you you need to get laid more, it does wonders. I mean look at you!"

“I tried to stop her, but you know what Meg is like once she gets an idea in her head.” Castiel had tried to stop his wife from dropping in unannounced, but she had been determined and when Meg got like that nothing stopped her.

Sam was grateful to Castiel for trying, but when Meg got an idea stuck in her head it was like dealing with a bulldog; she was too stubborn and stuck in her ways. "It's okay, Castiel, we both know what Meg is like when she gets an idea, she just won't give it up. Plus I know Meg's heart is in the right place and I had a wonderful time with Benny, so I owe you a big thanks, Meg. But don't start planning anything just yet - so far Benny and I are going to be friends and nothing more, even after last night."

“You need to start dating, Sam. You are young and hot and if I wasn’t married and you were down for it I would give you such a riding that you wouldn’t recall your own name,” Meg blurted out in her typical way.

Sam shook his head. "I know you mean well, but Meg, I'm not ready to start dating yet. I know it's been four years since Jess left but..." Sam trailed off; it wasn't anything he hadn't said before.

"You've also been in love with Dean for most of your life and despite how much pain he has brought you, you're still holding out hope for him to return your feelings. It's not Jess you’re clinging to, but Dean, and that is what's holding you back from moving on with your life," Meg added. She couldn't understand why Sam still loved Dean so much that he would waste away waiting for him.

Sam knew that Meg was right and she knew it. It was hard for him to move on from Dean; he had been his whole world for so long and Sam wasn't ready to let go of him yet. "I'm trying, Meg, but the kind of love that I feel for Dean just doesn't go away so easily. I've been in love with him since I've known what love is. I know it's not healthy but I can't help the way I feel."

No more needed to be said. Sam's heart belonged Dean, no matter how much Meg wished that Sam would let him go.

 

                                                                      *+++*

Mary glanced at her grandson in the rear-view mirror as Jaden chatted on and on about the fact that he and his dad were going to the zoo tomorrow, like they usually did every other Sunday. Like his dad Jaden had a real love of animals and right now his favourite was tigers, which he couldn't wait to see first thing tomorrow.  Mary was doing her best to pay attention to Jaden but her mind was adrift. Last night she dreamt of John. Now since John's death it hadn't been unusual for her to do so - John always featured in her dreams - but this time was different.

_Mary Winchester knew she had to be dreaming; it was the only way to explain what she was seeing. “John?” There was no way that her husband was sitting in their living room; it was something she had dreamed of since she lost John._

_John Winchester smiled as he stood to greet his wife. “Hello, Mary. You still look as beautiful as the day I first saw you.”_

_Tears came to Mary’s eyes as John moved towards her. “I know this is only a dream but I miss you so much.” She closed her eyes as John’s fingers reached out and touched her cheeks; she could swear that she actually felt his touch._

_“I know, I miss you too Mary, so much. I wish I could be there to help out with our boys. I should have known that my stubbornness would have rubbed off on Dean. He needs to get his head out of his ass." More than anything John wished he could be there with Mary. “They’ll be okay, Mary. I know it doesn’t seem like it but our boys will find their way back to one another. They are something special, and it can’t be destroyed no matter what. It’s a little bent, but it’s still there underneath all that hurt and anger.”_

It had felt so real, like John had really been there with her, and she could only hope that John was right.

“Grandma!” Jaden’s scream of pure terror yanked Mary out of her thoughts and she cursed herself for getting so distracted that she didn't pay attention. As she did her best to swerve away from the car that failed to yield at the stop sign and slammed into her side of the car, her last thought was, ' _please let Jaden be okay,'_ before darkness took her and the last thing she heard was her grandson's cry of terror.

 

                                                                       *+++*

“Sam, will you sit down? All of your pacing is making me nervous,” Meg snapped. “So Mary and Jaden are a little late. It’s been known to happen. Pacing like a caged animal won’t make them get here faster,” she pointed out from her spot next to Castiel.

“Meg, Sam is allowed to worry about his son and mother.” Castiel did his best to sooth his wife’s nerves.

Sam couldn’t hear Meg’s words. Last night he had dreamt of his father. He had seemed so real when he told Sam that everything was going to work out in the end, and to not to be too hard on his stubborn fool of a brother. That dream had Sam waking up in a cold sweat, and his nerves getting the best of him the longer it took for his mom and Jaden to get home.

The ringing of his phone was a welcome distraction as Sam grabbed it. “Hello?”

“Mr Winchester, this is Missouri Moseley from the General Hospital. I’m so sorry, son, to be the bearer of bad news, but Mary Winchester and Jaden Winchester were involved in a car accident this morning.”

Sam barely felt Castiel and Meg reach out to support him, or heard Meg’s worried demands to know who she had to hurt. He heard and felt nothing as his world crashed around him. Jaden and his mother had been in a car accident.

While Castiel was helping Sam to the couch, Meg was snatching up the phone. “What the hell did you just say to my best friend?” she snarled into the phone.

A calm and rather soothing voice came over the line, no hint that she was angry at all with Meg’s tone. “I am Missouri Moseley, and I was sad to inform Mr Winchester that his mother and son have been involved in a car accident. We need him down at the General,” Missouri explained.

Castiel knew it was something bad from the way Meg gasped and her hand flew to cover her mouth. “We will be right there.” Castiel knew whatever it was, they would support Sam in whatever way they could.

“Dean needs to know.” Castiel glanced down at the broken man next to him. That had been the last thing he had expected to hear, and he didn't know what to do when Sam turned pleading eyes to Castiel. “In my phone there is a name. Bobby Singer. He might be the best way to get in contact with Dean, please call him for me,” Sam begged. He really needed Dean there to hold him.

“I will, Sam,” Castiel promised. He didn’t like the idea of Dean being anywhere near Sam and he was sure Meg would throw a punch at Dean, but their needs and wants were not what was important. Sam’s were, and Dean had the right to be here since it was his family as well. "I'll call him while Meg takes you to the hospital."

Meg's jaw clenched as she exchanged looks above Sam's bent head with her husband. She would love to give Dean Winchester a piece of her mind for all he put Sam through, but that would have to wait. Sam was going to need a supportive best friend and not someone out for the blood of the man he loved.

"Wait! Call him after we have gotten to the hospital, we'll have more answers then. Dean might not even need to come down if they just have a few bruises or even a broken bone." Sam didn't want to think the worst. He refused to. He had to keep up hope that his son and mother were okay. The first time he talked to his brother he didn't want it to be because of a tragedy.

"Okay, Sam, we will do it your way." Castiel could understand Sam's reasoning and hoped that he was right.

                                                                            *+++*

Dean felt off, and he cursed as he dropped the wrench he had been using. "I'm sorry, baby, I'm just not in focus today." he whispered as he ran his hand down the side of his beloved car. His dream from last night left him rattled; he had seen his father.

Now this wasn't the first dream he had had about his dad, but usually they were nightmares about his dad's death. Often he cursed himself for letting his feelings for Sam keep him away, that he let himself drift so far away from his mother and father. But last night was different, it felt like his dad was actually there talking to him.

_'You need to go home, son, make things right with your brother and mother. I know how you feel about your brother, and it's okay, son. You shouldn't let others’ fear and hate of what they don't understand keep you away from your family. The love you have for Sam is what most people long to have in their life.'_

His dad's words haunted him more than anything. Dean wanted to be able to make things right with his mom, with Sam and maybe even met his nephew. But how could Sam ever be able to begin to forgive him?

"If I don't try how can I ever know?" Dean whispered to himself. Could he find the courage to reach out to Sam?

 

                                                                     *+++*

Nurse Missouri Moseley could tell that the tall worried man who practically fell through the doors of the hospital was the young man she had called. Moving out from behind her desk she met up with the young man who looked like he was about to collapse at any moment. "Sam Winchester?"

Sam blinked at the concerned woman smiling up at him. "Yes, I'm Sam Winchester. I got a phone call that my mother and son had been injured. Their names are Mary Winchester and Jaden Winchester. I need to know if they are all right."

"I know who they are, baby, but what you need to do is sit down before you pass out," Missouri ordered in a tone that was not to be denied. And that was how Sam found himself sitting in an open chair and a cup of water in his hands. "Drink slowly, honey, it won't do anyone any good if you pass out and end up in this hospital sharing a room with your momma, and that would keep you from seeing that little boy of yours."

Sam's head shot up and nothing but pure relief shone in his eyes. "My son and mother are alright?"

"They are, baby. They are pretty banged up. Their doctor will be out to talk to you soon but I know that they were lucky to walk away without any life threatening injuries," Missouri reassured the young man.

That had a sigh of relief escaping Sam, and the worry and fear that he had been carrying with him released as he realized that his son and mother were alright. "Thank you for telling me that, it lifted a great weight off of my shoulders." He wanted to tell Castiel that there was no need for him to call Dean, but before he got a chance, what he could describe only as perky blond woman came out and joined their small group.

"Well, Missouri, I take it that this strapping young fellow is our Sam Winchester. I'm Doctor Donna Hanscum, I'm tasked with looking after your little boy, Jaden Winchester. Now Jaden is a very lucky little boy; he did suffer a broken arm during the crash and a nasty bump on his head, but otherwise he’s alright. Now I would like to keep him overnight just as a precaution," Donna explained.

"But he's going to be okay, right?" Sam needed to know that his little boy was going to be fine.

Donna gave Sam a bright smile. "He's going to be just fine. I’ve given him something for the pain and he's resting right now. I'll take you to see him once you've been updated about your mother from my colleague... oh, and there she is right now."

"Hello Sam, it's good to see you again." Doctor Jody Mills was an old family friend of the Winchesters, and there had been no way that she wasn't taking over Mary's care. "Your mother is going to be fine. She has suffered a concussion as well as a broken leg and bruised ribs. I'm keeping her for a few days, just to ensure her safety."

Sam was grateful that it was Jody looking after his mother. He knew that she was in the very best of hands. "Meg, could you go check on my mother? I need to see Jaden with my own eyes."

"You don't even need to ask." Meg loved Mary like her own mother, and she would stay by her side however long Sam needed her to.

"Thank you, Meg." Everything about Sam screamed gratitude to Meg as he followed Donna.

"Cas?" Meg asked when her husband made no move to follow. "Aren't you coming?"

"I will be there in a few moments. I need to make a few phone calls - one to Ruby to tell her what has happened so she knows not to expect Sam into work on Monday or for a while," Castiel informed his wife.

Meg had completely forgotten about that. "Good thinking, Cas, there's no way that Sam is up to working for a while. Meet me up in Mary's room when you're done."

"I will," Castiel promised, and he watched as Meg followed Jody before pulling out the phone Sam had asked him to get.

"You're doing the right thing, sugar, that boy needs all the love and support he can get," Missouri's knowing voice came from behind him.

Stunned, Castiel turned around to see the woman smiling knowingly at him before humming a tune and carrying on her way.

 


	6. Chapter 6

_Singer’s Salvage Yard, South Dakota_

Bobby grumbled to himself as the phone kept ringing and ringing. He finally had a day off and he was all set to enjoy his paper, he didn't want to talk to anyone.

Karen Singer smiled at her husband fondly as she got up to answer the phone. “I’ll get it. Wouldn’t want to disturb you from your important reading.”

“You’re an angel!” Bobby called after his wife.

“And don’t you forget it, mister!” Karen called back. “Hello, Singer’s Salvage Yard, Karen Singer speaking,” Karen greeted cheerfully into the phone.

“Mrs Singer, this is Castiel Masters, I am a friend of Sam Winchester. I am sad to inform you that earlier this morning Mary Winchester and her grandson were involved in a car accident,” Castiel explained.

Karen’s gasp had Bobby putting down his paper and moving to her side, curiosity in his eyes.

“Are Jaden and Mary alright?” Karen asked as Bobby swore softly.

“I am pleased to tell you that, while banged up, both Mary and Jaden are expected to make a full recovery, but Sam has been left shaken. He could use his big brother here," Castiel informed them. He knew that Meg wouldn't be happy with him for doing this, but Sam needed Dean, and he had a feeling that Dean needed Sam.

“I’ll have Bobby call him right away, and we will be there as soon as we can. You make sure to tell Sam that he is not alone, and we will be there for him.” If need be Karen would drag Dean there by his ear. It was time that the brothers stopped dancing around the issue that drove them apart. She could read Dean like a book; he was missing his brother something fierce.

“Sam will never be alone as long as we are here,” Castiel promised and Karen knew he spoke the truth.

“I’m glad that Sam has such loyal and caring friends. Thank you for looking after him.” Karen was grateful to these people for caring about Sam, but it was time that Dean stepped up.

“I look forward to meeting you, Mrs Singer. I should go, I have no doubt that Sam and my wife are wondering where I am," Castiel informed her.

"I look forward to meeting you as well, Castiel. We will be there as soon as possible," Karen reassured him before hanging up and turning to her husband. "You need to get in contact with Dean right away. He can't avoid going home anymore," Karen told her husband as she handed him the phone.

"I know that damn fool has let this go too far," Bobby muttered under his breath. He wasn't surprised to get Dean's voicemail. "Dean, its Bobby, son, when you get this message I need you to call me. It's about your momma and your nephew. I don't know what went down between you and Sam, but you need to get over it, princess. Family is important, Dean, and no matter what has gone down between the two of you, you need each other now more than ever." With that, Bobby hung up the phone. He hoped that damn fool called him soon.

                                                                         *+++*

 

_Somewhere on the Road_

Dean Winchester didn't hear his phone as Led Zeppelin blasted out of his baby's speakers, but he couldn't ignore the feeling in his gut anymore; he had to see Sammy.

His Sammy needed him, and it was time that Dean was there for his little brother even if Sam didn't want him to be.

' _I sure hope Bobby and Karen find my note.'_ Dean knew he could have stopped in and told them, but he didn't have the time - his Sammy senses were screaming that he needed his big brother.

                                                                            *+++*

"That damn fool.. about time he got off his ass but would it have killed him to say goodbye to us?" Bobby grumbled under his breath. After getting no answer from Dean he headed over to Dean's apartment, and entered using the key the younger man had given him. Bobby was surprised to find no sign of his wayward nephew, and he was about to call up Dean again when he saw the note.

_Bobby and Karen,_

_Sam needs me. I can't stay away any longer. I'm heading out to see him and I know you'll be pissed at me for not saying good-bye, but I couldn't wait._

_Dean_

Bobby would give Dean a few days to work out things with his brother, before he and Karen flew out to check on Mary and Jaden for themselves.

                                                                         *+++*

"Careful, Mom, take it easy." Sam had done his best to make sure that there was nothing Mary could trip on. He had made it clear that his mom was staying with him and Jaden while she healed her wounds.

Mary smiled fondly at her son's concern. It was just so Sam, but she worried about him, he was wearing himself thin looking after her and Jaden. "My precious baby, you need to look after yourself," she murmured, lifting her hand and stroking the side of Sam's face.

"I will, Mom, once you and Jaden are better, I promise." Sam knew his mom worried about him.

"How is my grandson doing? Driving you insane yet?" Mary knew that Jaden was a very active little boy, and she couldn't see a broken arm keeping him down for very long.

Sam shook his head. "A broken arm isn't keeping him down. He was upset that he couldn't play any of his video games but I promised him that we'll go to the zoo on the weekend." He was amazed a broken bone didn't stop his son at all, and his son's cast was already full of signatures and cute little drawings from his classmates and friends.

 "Come on, let's get you settled before I have to go pick up the little whirlwind." Sam helped his mom into his house.

They were just passing the phone when it started to ring. "Aren't you going to get that?" Mary asked, looking up at her son.

Shaking his head, Sam continued leading his mom towards the living room. "No. Whoever they are they can wait. I'll call them back once I've gotten you settled."

The familiar sound of his answer machine clicked on, and Sam smiled at the sound of his son's voice.

_"You've reached Sam and Jaden Winchester. We're not in right now but please leave your name and number and a short message after the beep."_

Nothing could have prepared Mary or Sam for the voice they heard.

_"Hey, I'm probably the last person that you want to ever hear from again, but I want to talk to you, if you're willing to meet up with me. I'm probably the last person you wanted to hear from or meet with but I'm in California, not too far away. I've been dreaming, Sammy, a lot of how we used to be when we were younger, there's so much between us and I want a chance to make things right. So Sammy, I'm hoping you give me a call."_

Sam was sure his heart was in his chest as Dean rattled off a number. How many times had Sam dreamed of hearing from his brother? And now that Dean had called he wasn't sure what to do. "Mom, what do I do?" Sam asked, sounding like a lost little boy.

Mary's heart broke for her son, but she had no answers for him. "I can't tell you what to do, but know that I will support you whatever you want to do. But I do know how much you have been missing your brother, and how long you have been waiting for this moment."

Sam knew his mom had a point; he had been waiting for a chance to talk to Dean for so long. "I'll call Dean once I pick Jaden up from school. Will you be okay looking after him for a little while?"

"Of course, baby." Mary knew that this was very important to her son, and she had a feeling in her gut that this was the key to fixing their family. "Just remember I love you and will accept whatever you chose to do that makes you happy." Mary knew that her sons’ love for one another went far beyond brotherly bond and love, and after seeing her sons tear their lives apart trying to live without one another, she would support them even if she couldn't understand their love for one another.

"Mom?" Sam wasn't sure what he was hearing, but it almost sounded like his mother was giving him and Dean permission to be with one another.

Mary gave Sam a sweet smile. "Do what makes you happy for once."

"Dean makes me happy," Sam admitted in a soft voice. He would take Dean anyway he could.

"Then go get him. Have Dean meet you at my place so you two have some privacy. You have a lot to talk about and I don't think either of you would like to discuss anything too personal in public," Mary suggested.

"You're the best, Mom." Sam pressed a kiss gently on the top of Mary's hair. His mom was right, he and Dean needed privacy to talk.

                                                                         *+++*

Once Mary was settled and Sam had given her her painkillers, he found himself staring at his phone for several moments before taking a deep breath and reaching out for it.

"Sammy? Is that you?" Dean had been a bundle of nerves as he paced his hotel room, waiting for Sam to call him back.  So when his phone rang, Dean practically jumped on it.

It had been so long since Sam heard that nickname, and he swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat. "Yeah, Dean, it's me. I got your message. Do you really want to meet up?"

Dean didn't realize how much he had missed Sam's voice until he heard it over the line. "Yeah, little brother, I really do. I've made mistakes, Sam, and I want to make things right with you. I know you have the right to tell me that you never want to see me again and hang up on me, but that won't stop me from trying," Dean explained. He hoped to God that he didn't believe in that. Sam was willing to give him the chance because he was serious when he said he wasn't leaving until he talked with his brother.

 "Why now?" It was everything that Sam had been hoping for so long and he only hoped that this wasn't some cruel joke.

"Because I've been an ass to you, little brother. I've missed you so much. I know that I'm to blame for a big part of the distance between us, but I really do want to make things right between us." Dean needed Sam to give him a chance. He was willing to crawl on broken glass if he had to.

"I've missed you too, Dean, and I'm willing to meet up. Mom's willing to look after Jaden for me tonight and we can meet up at her place so we can have some privacy to talk." Sam wouldn't lie, he missed his brother. Without Dean he just wasn't whole.

Being alone with Sam was going to test Dean's willpower; all he wanted was to get his baby brother beneath him and show him just how sorry he truly was. "Sounds great, what time do you want to meet up?" Mary had never stopped sending Dean gifts for his birthday or Christmas, or letters asking him to come home, so he had his mom's new address.

"Um, seven okay? This way I can get Jaden fed and Mom just has to put him to bed," Sam suggested.

What Dean really wanted to say was, “No, seven is too long to wait, I need to see you now,” but that would be pushing it so instead he forced himself to say, "Seven works for me. I'll see you then."

"Yeah, I'll see you then." It took all of Sam's willpower to hang up the phone when all he wanted to do was stay on the line and hear Dean's voice some more, or even just hear him breath, but he had a son to pick up and dinner to cook.

Dean wanted to beg Sam to stay on the line but he couldn't push his brother, he needed to take baby steps with him. Seven o'clock couldn't come soon enough for him.

 

                                                                     *+++*

Sam was a nervous mess by the time it was time for him to leave. "I'll see you when I get home, you be good for your grandma. I love you, little man." Sam pressed a kiss on Jaden's forehead.

Jaden beamed up at his dad. "Okay Daddy. I love you too."

"We'll be fine, Sam, we're going to watch a little television. Go, you need to do this," Mary urged her son.

Sam knew he had no real reason to stall and he was excited to see his brother again, no matter how this meeting turned out.

                                                                      *+++*

Okay, so Dean might have been a little nervous about meeting up with Sam. It would explain why he had been sitting outside his mom's house for about half an' hour before he was supposed to meet up with Sam.

He straightened up and his heart began pounding in his chest as a car pulled up, and there he was getting out, Sam.

_'God, he looks so amazing.'_ Dean didn't think it was possible that Sam could look any more gorgeous than he did when he last saw him.

Sam felt his whole world shift as he laid eyes on Dean and he was torn; part of him wanted to hug his brother and never let go, the other half of him wanted to punch Dean. Sam forced himself to keep his hands to himself. "You want to go in?" he asked, forcing himself to keep his voice neutral.

It took everything in Dean not to move forward and engulf Sam in a hug that he didn't think would be all that welcomed just yet. "Sounds awesome."

Together the two brothers moved towards their mother's house. Neither said a word until they entered the house. Sam took a seat on the couch as he watched Dean take in the photos displayed over the fireplace.

Dean's fingers lingered on a photo of their dad, his heart breaking for the time he missed, before moving on to a picture of Sam with a laughing little boy in his arms. "I'm so sorry, Sam, for what happened with Jess."

Sam had never put much belief in the whole _time heals all wounds_ thing - just look at how long he had been waiting for time to heal the broken heart that Dean left him with. They said that time was supposed to heal you, but the pain of seeing Dean with Jess was still a gaping wound in his heart.

"Did you know that when you were little, you threw such a fit about me going to school that the moment I was gone that you would strip out of your clothes and run around naked, and no matter how many times Mom and Dad got you redressed, you wouldn't stay that way. You even stripped down naked in the middle of a store, much to Mom's embarrassment. You would only get dressed when I came home from school." Dean didn't know why he told Sam that story, but he needed to break the ice.

Sam felt his face flush; he knew about that, his mom still had photos of him running around in nothing but his birthday suit.

"Sammy, I must have picked up that phone a thousand times to call you, but in the end I always chickened out." Dean forced the words out as he turned to face his brother.

_'So it **was** Dean.' _All those phone calls had been his brother. "Why? Dean, you had to know that the only thing I ever wanted was to hear your voice again," Sam questioned softly.

"I couldn't tell you over the phone how sorry I was for breaking your heart, Sam, and for everything I had done to you. I know I hurt you, that mess with Jess being my last and greatest pain I could have caused you." Dean forced back the tears that wanted to come as he recalled the absolute heartbroken look in Sam's eyes.

"Dean, for so long all I wanted to was for you to ask me how I was doing! To ask about your nephew whom you have never even laid eyes on! Hell, I would have been happy if you had called me just to ask about Mom and Dad! All I needed was to hear your voice! Dean, all I ever wanted in my life was you in it someway. I could never understand what I did to drive you away. What I did to make you hate me so much. You picked up that phone to call me a thousand times? I did call you, and it must have been a thousand times, and you never picked up. I called you to tell you how sorry it was for whatever it was that I did that drove you away from us, from me." Sam couldn't stop the words from exploding out.

"Why did you stop?" Dean had been heartbroken when the calls had stopped - he knew then that he had lost Sam for good.

"When I found you with Jess, I realised no matter how much I tried to reach out to you, you didn't want to hear what I had to say. You were doing fine without me in your life." Sam couldn't look at his brother anymore.

"I should have never left you, Sammy. I will never forgive myself for hurting you."  Dean couldn't stay away anymore and he moved to sit beside Sam on the couch. "Before you ask, I have no clue where Jess is. We went our own way after that night. I should have never slept with her."

"Then why did you?" Sam's broken tone destroyed Dean.

"Because the way I feel about you is wrong! I shouldn't have these kind of feelings for my baby brother! They are wrong and sick. I needed to make you hate me. It was for your own good," Dean snapped out.

"Dean, I could never hate you, no matter what you did. And you're not the only one who has wrong feelings for their brother." Sam could feel his heart speeding up.

Dean didn't dare hope or breath as those words fell from Sam's lips. ' _There's no way Sammy is saying what I think he's saying.'_ Still Dean found himself taking a step towards Sam. "I know I've been a horrible brother and I don't deserve this kind of consideration, but Sammy, please don't play with my emotions like this."

Swallowing hard, Sam decided to take the first step, and reached out and cupped Dean's face in his hands. "You don't understand how much it hurt to have you push away from me. I thought I had done something wrong to make you hate me. That I was the worst brother alive.”

“Sammy, I’m sorry I made you feel like that. You were the best brother anyone could ask for. I'm not whole without you Sam. There is no me without you." Dean lifted up his hand and stroked Sam's cheek. "I'm sorry for breaking your heart," Dean whispered. He needed Sam to see the truth in his eyes, that he truly did regret breaking Sam's heart.

"I know you are, and I forgive you." Sam found himself drawn to Dean's lips like he always had been. "Dean, I know it won't fix everything between us, but could you kiss me? I've dreamed of that for so long," Sam pleaded.

Dean's lips curled up into a smile. "Anything for you, baby boy," Dean murmured before lowering his lips and finally feeling those lips against his.

Sam melted completely against his brother. For so long he had dreamed of this moment and now that it was happening it was better than he could have ever imagined. A tiny whimper escaped his mouth, one that seemed to turn Dean on, if the way he deepened the kiss was anything to go by.

Sam's whimper fuelled a hunger that Dean didn't know he had possessed, as he sought to devour his baby brother. Never had a kiss felt so right, so perfect, and Dean knew he was addicted to him. Sam was one drug that he never wanted to quit.

Sam was right, there was still so much hurt between them, but for now all that mattered to Dean was the fact that his brother was willing to give them a chance, and that was more than anything Dean could ask for.

 

                                                                  *+++*

"You know this could be a very bad idea." Dean wasn't sure how he let Sam talk him into coming home with him, but once Sam had pulled those blasted puppy eyes of his Dean couldn't say no.

"Dean, Mom will be happy to see you. She's missed you so much. Please just come in and say hello," Sam pleaded with his brother.

A frustrated sigh escaped Dean's lips. "You know we could just drive around, find a secluded place and make out some more. I could add another mark." Dean waggled his eyebrows as he flashed Sam a sexy smirk, eyeing the mark he couldn't stop himself from leaving. His marks on his baby brother, that let everyone know that Sam was taken.

"Dean." Sam gave Dean one look, and that was enough for his brother.

"Fine, but I want a make out session afterwards," Dean argued.

"Deal!" Sam really didn't see a problem with promising that.

"Great, let's get going." Dean was out of the Impala before Sam even had a chance to blink.

Sam quickly climbed out of the Impala. It hadn't taken much for Dean to convince Sam to leave his car behind and take a ride with him in the Impala. He missed her, and yeah, he had a few fantasies where Dean and he made use of the backseat.

Sam wasn't all that surprised to find Dean waiting for him, and he couldn't resist slipping his hand into Dean's and gave it a little squeeze. "Let's do this."

Together they entered the house. Mary let out a little gasp at the sight of Dean.

"Dean?" she asked in a soft voice.

"Hey Mom. I'm home." Dean gave a shaky greeting as he moved towards his mom. Sam had told him everything about the accident and he was grateful that his mom hadn't been taken from him like his dad before he had a chance to make things right with her. Dean found himself wrapped in his mother's arms and just melted into her hug, breathing in her scent.

The last thing Mary wanted before she joined her husband she wanted to see her sons reunited again. It was sad that she would not live long enough to see that happen. "I was so sure I was going to die. As much as I would love to be reunited with John again, I also wanted to see my grandson grow up. But more importantly I wanted us to be a family again. Dean, I love you so much, and no matter what has happened I will never stop loving you or seeing you as my son.  I know how you feel about your brother and I won't stop you from being with each other. But how are you going to explain everything?" Mary knew the love her sons shared wasn't going to make things easy between them.

"Mom, I love you. But I've given this a lot of thought. No one here knows I'm your son and if we don't tell anyone Sammy and I could be together without worry or fear. I love you so much and I'm so grateful that you are my mother, but I can't live without Sam in my life," Dean explained.

Before coming over the boys had had a long talk about if they should hide their relationship or not. Dean refused, he was the unknown Winchester and he planned on staying that way. His reasoning was that he and Sam could finally have a fresh start, in a place where no one knew that they were brothers. They could finally be together the way they had longed to, with all the hurts and pains in the past. They had finally moved on from the heartache and heartbreak they caused each other.

Not that Sam would ever regret his son - he was his greatest treasure, but now with Dean in his life Sam at last felt complete. Since Jaden didn't know anything about Dean, Sam had made a point never to talk about his brother because it hurt too much. Jaden didn’t know his Uncle Dean and while that had stung Dean deeply, he could understand that he had done the damage to Sam. But in a big way Jaden not knowing who he really was left out any issue they would have in trying to explain why Sam was kissing his brother.

Dean and Sam began with a fresh start, free to be lovers and partners, and that was all Dean wanted.

Mary couldn't fault Dean for his reasoning. "Well, in private you can still call me Mom and since I love you like a son it won't take people long to understand why I give my son-in-law permission to call me Mom."

Twin sighs of relief escaped Dean and Sam at their mom's acceptance. They didn't know what they would have done if their mother didn't approve. Well, Dean knew he wasn't giving up Sam, but he didn't want to lose his mom, not when they just reconnected.

"Now Dean just has to survive meeting Jaden and Meg." Mary’s reminder had Dean groaning and wondering if it was too late to convince Sam to run away with him.


	7. Chapter 7

_Twelve years later_

Dean could hardly take his eyes off the man sleeping next to him. He couldn't believe that it had been twelve years since he got over himself and came back for Sam. Twelve years of having Sam as his, and everyday Dean was grateful that his brother loved him enough to forgive him for all the hurt he caused him.

It hadn't been an easy road for the brothers, but they weathered every storm that came their way, and came out stronger after each challenge.

Their first real challenge had been Jaden. Dean had never forgotten meeting Jaden the first morning Sam had invited him to stay after their talk with their mom, and Dean hadn't had the heart to go. They didn't do anything that night but sleeping in each other's arms, and it was at breakfast that Dean met his nephew for the first time.

_Jaden looked at the man sitting at the table with suspicion in his eyes and moved to stand protectively in front of his dad. "Who are you?"_

_Dean grinned at the boy's protectiveness. "I'm Dean Singer and I'm your dad's boyfriend. It's nice to meet you, Jaden, I've heard a lot about you."_

_"You hurt my daddy and my Aunt Meg will kick your butt," Jaden threatened._

_"I have no doubt she will, kid. Now would you like some chocolate chip pancakes?" Dean knew that Sam's best friend was going to have words for him._

_Jaden's face broke out into a huge smile as he crawled into the empty seat. "Yay! Pancakes! I like you, Dean."_

_Sam could only shake his head as Dean had found his son's one weakness - sweets. Yeah, Dean and Jaden were going to get along great._

"I can feel you watching me," Sam murmured, opening his eyes and smiling at the sight of his husband, and hadn't that been a surprise, when Bobby gave Dean a new identify of Dean Singer? It turned out the other man had a few things he hadn't let them know.

It hadn't taken Dean long to get a job as mechanic, and soon he was running the place with his knowledge. It had been at Dean's urging that Sam start his own small law practice, taking on the cases he wanted.

To his eyes, Dean had grown more handsome with the crinkles at the corner of his eyes and the slight hints of grey in his hair, and the scruffy look that Dean was sporting these days had Sam so hot and bothered for him that he was grateful for a empty house.

"The most handsome guy in my bed, of course I'm going to stare at you," Dean commented, leaning in for a kiss, one that Sam was more than happy to return.

"Dad! Papa! Time to get up! Jaden’s ready to leave!" Their nine year old daughter shouted as she pounded on the door before heading down the kitchen where she knew her grandmother was putting out a feast.

Diana Joanna Winchester had been Meg's anniversary gift to them. She had offered them to care for her child if they wanted to. Sam loved the idea of raising a child with Dean and it didn't take his brother much convincing, but oh, Sam had fun doing so to get Dean to go along with it.

Meg and Dean would never be friends; the two had a very low tolerance for one another, but tried to play nice for Sam's sake and the fact that Jaden was dating Castiel and Meg's son Ross. Sam secretly hoped that their relationship lasted; he wouldn't mind being related to his best friend.

"I'm not ready for my baby to be old enough for college," Sam whined and he really wasn't, but he was so proud of his son getting into Stanford on a full ride. They never told Jaden who Dean really was, but there were days that Sam was convinced that his son knew the truth but didn't judge them for it. Sam was too scared to ask for sure, and was okay with Jaden's silent support.

Sam had tried to track down Jess, even though Jaden had made it clear that he was okay never hearing from the woman who abandoned him. But Sam wanted the knowledge handy should his son ever ask. He had found Jess, she had settled down and was happily married with three children of her own, and had no desire to be a part of Jaden's life.

"Me neither, but there is a bright side to this." Dean wasn't ready to have a kid in college, but life didn't slow down no matter how hard he wanted it to.

That had Sam raising a eyebrow. "And just what is this bright side of yours?" He let out a yelp as he was quickly rolled beneath Dean's body.

"Well, with our son off to college and our little girl being Miss Popular and at a new sleepover every week, we will have the house all to ourselves, and you don't have to stay quiet anymore. I can make you scream, baby boy," Dean whispered huskily in Sam's ear.

"Okay that is a bright spot." Sam found himself agreeing as Dean's lips claimed his once again. They had lost so much time, and everyday Dean seemed to be determined to make up for it. Sam didn't think it was possible, but every day he fell a little more in love with his big brother, his soulmate and though it took some time and a lot of pain and heartache, Sam wouldn't change anything about their lives now.

Dean grinned down at Sammy. "Think we have time for a quickie?"

Even if they didn't, they would make time. "Given that Jaden is probably saying his own goodbyes to Ross, yeah, I think we have time for a quickie. I love you, Dean."

Those were three words Dean would never get tired of hearing from Sam. "I love you too, now shut up and kiss me, bitch."

That had Sam rolling his eyes. "As you wish, jerk."   


                                                                        *+++*

Jaden couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes as his parents finally decided to join them, even if he had been busy giving his own goodbye to his boyfriend. "Finally decided to grace us with your presence?" Jaden teased, hiking up Diana higher so she wouldn't fall off. His little sister was getting too big for piggyback rides, but she was a master of the puppy eyes and she wasn't afraid to use them on him.

Dean wasn't fooled as he crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at his son. "Please, as if you weren't doing your own goodbyes with Ross."

"He was, Papa, and it was gross." Diana made a yucky face. Her bottled green eyes, which were so much like Dean that it made Sam heart soar to know that their little girl had so many of Dean's features, from his eyes to the freckles that Dean tried to hide.

While there was no doubt that Diana took after Dean, Dean in return was thankful that as Jaden got older there was no doubt who his father was. Truth was, neither he or Sam could take that step in finding out who Jaden's biological father was, but as far as Dean was concerned it was Sam, and he was proven right as Jaden grew up to be a Sam clone, right down to the floppy hair which he refused to cut.

"That's right, baby girl, kissing boys is yucky." Dean agreed with his little girl. ' _Now she just has to keep up that way of thinking until she is thirty or even longer.'_ Dean didn't care what Sam said, his little girl wasn't dating until then. It was still better than when Dean first declared that his little girl wasn't allowed to date until he was dead, and he planned on living till he was one hundred just to ensure his little girl stayed his little girl. Dean knew what was going through guys’ minds; he himself had been one of those guys who only cared about how quickly they could get a girl into his bed, and he planned on shooting the first guy who tried to date his little girl.

Sam couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes at Dean's overprotectiveness of their daughter. He truly pitied anyone who dared to try and date their little girl. To try they would have get past Dean and his happy trigger finger.

"You listen to Pops, boys are yucky and shouldn't be kissed at all." Jaden fully supported Dean's way of thinking and refused to think of his little sister ever being old enough to date.

The sigh that Diana let out was pure Sam, as she looked pleadingly to her only sensible parent. "Daddy, do something! Jaden and Papa are imagining what they will do to my future boyfriends, make them stop." Diana sent a pleading look to Sam.

"I know, sweetie, and I'll do my best to talk to them and make them see reason, but it's going to be a battle." Sam knew a few tricks that he could use on Dean, but his brother could be very set in his ways. Dean scowled at anyone who paid him a lingering look, and the last time they had gone out to a bar for a date night Dean had almost gotten into a fist fight when Sam had been hit on. Sam had gotten them out of there before Dean got them kicked out, and that night Dean had set out to remind Sam of just who he belonged to. Sam had been amazed that he had been able to walk the next day.

Lust shot through Dean he knew what kind of tricks Sam was going to pull on him, and while it wouldn't do anything to change Dean's mind on when their little girl should be allowed to date, he wasn't going to stop Sam from trying. He rather enjoyed Sam's little tricks of when he wanted Dean to change his mind on something.

Catching his little brother’s eyes, Dean slowly licked his lower lip the way Sam loved, and was reward with his brother's eyes darkening. Dean knew he had his baby boy right where he wanted him.

"Oh, could you please cool it with the looks until I leave? You two give eye-sex a new meaning," Jaden's voice cut in. While he was thrilled that his dads loved one another and that their love only grew stronger each passing day, he did not need to see his parents’ public displays of affection.

Of course, as Sam engulfed him in a hug Jaden suddenly found himself wishing that his dad had stuck to making eyes at his pa. Then he wouldn’t be smothered in his dad's hold, and worst off all, they were in the driveway where everyone could see him.

Where Ross could see him.

"Dad, I'm just going away to college. You and Pa are following me there with the Impala while I take the drive. It's not like you are never going to see me again," Jaden reminded his dad, all the while shooting a _help me_ look towards a snickering Dean.

Dean let his son suffer a little longer. No one could be prouder of Jaden than Sam, but he also knew that Sam was dreading not having his baby so close anymore. It was going to be an adjustment for Sam. Catching his son’s eyes, Dean mouthed at him, “Just a little longer.”

Jaden gave a small nod - in truth his dad wasn’t the only one dreading the big change coming. For as long as he could remember his dad had been there for him; they got up early, went for a run, and shared a quiet talk in the morning before the rest of the world woke up. Jaden was going to miss talking and seeing his dad every day. “I’m going to miss you, Dad,” Jaden whispered in Sam’s ear.

The tender moment between father and son was broken by Diana’s loud sigh. “Is this moment over yet? I promised Nicky that I would be at her sleepover tonight and I can’t be late.”

None of them were fooled; they knew when the time came to come home Diana would throw the biggest fit. She tried to hide it, but she loved her big brother and looked up to him. Jaden was her hero and she was going to take it hard.

Releasing their dad, Jaden scooped up his little sister in a tight hug. “Are you that eager to get rid of me? Come on, squirt, let’s get this show on the road, and I’ll even let you pick the music we listen to.”

Sam and Dean stood side by side for a moment, just watching their children. “You should be proud, Sammy, you raised a great kid.” Dean placed a kiss onto the side of Sam’s head.

“ _We_ raised a great kid, and we’re doing pretty good with the second one,” Sam corrected Dean. Turning in his brother’s arms, he flashed Dean a teasing little smirk. “You know I’ve always had this fantasy of making out with you at a college campus.”

Dean’s answering smirk was nothing but pure sex. “Oh, baby boy, that is at the top of my list. Let’s go embarrass our son.”

Sam’s laughter filled Dean’s heart and he was forever grateful that he had Sam in his life; he wasn’t whole without his brother, his soulmate in his life. “Thank you, Sammy, for loving me.”

Sam smiled softly and pressed a quick kiss against Dean’s lips. “Forever and always.”

The End


End file.
